Tuesday, February 24, 2009

How do we pick our friends?

Do you find yourself friends with people who have ideologies that are poles apart from your own? It is difficult to find people who think in the same way as you about most things. I guess that is the reason people find it hard to make friends. Picking the right friends is important as we trust our friends with our thoughts and dreams, which makes us extremely vulnerable.

So how do we pick? Every person brings along a wealth of knowledge, experience and insight. The more unlike you they are the more their friendship enriches your life and you grow as a person. Often, I find that I have the most incredible conversations with people whose view points contradict my own. My mother has mentioned, more than once, that she finds it strange that I can get along with people that seem so different. And sometimes my friends and me wonder together, how is it that we are so close when we hardly agree about anything?

Well, today during such a "wonder full" conversation, my friend who is diametrically opposite me said that she has been thinking about it and she said "the only thing that is absolutely essential to agree on are the most important principles- and the rest is peripheral stuff that does not matter". It is so true!

So what are these important principles? For me, it ultimately does not matter what their political or social ideologies are. It does not matter whether they hate or love to exercise, the color blue, or President Obama (;-D). I am most comfortable with people who are honest, dependable, caring, earnest, and lend me a listening ear.

How do you pick your friends? Are there principles you can't compromise on? I'd say give it a thought- it helps to know what matters to you. And when someone who is very different comes along it will be easier to be friends with them.

3 comments:

nic said...

Kammo, thanks for the wonderful insight!

Merwyn said...

I like to have fun - good clean fun. That's how I'd like to believe that I choose my friends. Having said that, I believe it is very important to have respect and honesty as the basis of any good solid friendship.

Kamalika said...

awesome!! and I guess I agree with Merwyn also on this....which makes me wonder whether relating to a person has something to do with being able to have "good clean" fun